My Follow-Up (well sort of)

As you may already know I had an follow up appt today but I left before being called now let me tell you why. As always I check in, take a magazine and wait for my name to be called. Sitting across from was this family and they went in the back before I did but about 30 minutes later they came out with ultrasound photos. She sat right across from me so I couldnt help but here her call family members about the good news. I was fighting back tears, not because I was mad because she was pregnant but because I wished that was why I was there. Instead I was there for a totally different reason. I decided to leave because I was an emotional wreck. People probably wouldnt understand my pain, grief since I was really early. I made an appt to go back next Monday but I got a call today from my doctor telling me to come back in the morning for blood work. I also was told that the test came back from the D&C and they didnt find a thing wrong with the embryo. Instead of being happy, im depressed because I feel like it was my fault. I asked my doctor could breastfeeding cause a problem and he said no, but I'm still wondering whether it did or not.