Miscarriage/D&C

Yesterday I received the news that I had a missed miscarriage and this morning at 5:30 I went to have an D&C done. I was so scared and nervous, I couldn't stop crying. I was happy when they finally let my husband come in the back with me while they did blood work. But it soon came time for the procedure and I was wheeled down this long hallway and we entered into this all white room with bright lights everywhere. I really don't remember much because of the anesthesia. remember waking up and feeling tubes down my nose. I thanked GOD as soon as I came to realize what had just happen and that I was okay. Right now I feel sad, depressed, angry because I feel like I let my husband down, I let myself by not being able to carry this baby to full term. I wanted this baby so badly as soon as I knew of his/her presence I was filled with joy. That joy only lasted for a moment it was quickly stolen when I found out that the baby was not thriving. I feel like it was my fault because I was breastfeeding and maybe the baby didnt get the nutrients he needed to survive. My first child died at 21 weeks, my second child was born a month early, and this baby didnt make it past first trimester. I hope this pattern does not continue because I want to have more kids, I want a big family. With all of this going on I don't know if that will ever happen.

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